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The Lady Who Walks Her Dog

I often pass this woman walking her dog on my way to work. Most mornings we don't talk, we just wave from a distance. If I'm within close enough proximity, she will invariably say "have a good day!" with more sincerity than is customary. Finally one day a couple years ago, I stopped and introduced myself to her. It felt strangely old-fashioned. After learning my name, she instead started saying "have a good day, Mai!" when I passed her. Such a small addition, yet decidedly more personal. Then I didn't see her for a while because of my erratic wonderemployment schedule. I wondered about her now and then, but didn't know anything about her besides the time she walks her dog each morning.

 Now that I'm back to a regular commute I've been seeing her and her dog again. The first week back, we stopped to catch up a bit about why it had been so long since we'd seen each other. She mentioned her poor little dog had been sick and not up for walking (he has a brain tumor!), and I mentioned my work schedule had changed. Since then we have resumed our long-distance waving and our "have a good day!" exchange, as I am usually in a hurry to catch my BART.

This morning she actually stopped me and said she wanted to tell me something. She told that since I've been back I've seemed different, more serene, and just so beautiful. She said she even mentioned this change to her elderly mother, who said that it must be because I have fallen in love or gotten rid of someone. "So which is it?", she asked me. I laughed and said I got married about a year ago. She was so thrilled. Then she asked me all the auntie-type questions, including asking me if she would be an auntie soon. Despite what I said recently on Facebook, it didn't bother me at all. It touched me that she clearly wanted this happiness for me. 

This lady who walks her dog had been a routine, relatively indistinguishable part of my life, like the the commuters on my 8:16 BART, or the security guards at work that I pass every day. Just like those other random people, she could have remained a perfect stranger. But she and I decided to cross that center line, to actually connect. I am astounded by how unexpectedly rewarding it has been. Not just because of the flattery (though honestly, that is really nice too!), but because it's so deeply satisfying to know that you are noticed, that your circle blurs out beyond where you might think it ends, and that nice people are floating around out there. To me, that's what community is all about. Even if it's just a wave or a nod, we all need those reminders that we exist as part of a whole.

Of course, talking to strangers is not always appropriate, and it doesn't always turn out well, but when it does, it's just so beautiful. 


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