Wonderemployment

Since my last post, I've been exercising my commitment to speak up in white spaces, as uncomfortable as it can be. I'm sharing this example  in case the content is informative to you, or can encourage you to speak up when you're shut down.   I am part of a forum dedicated to addressing childhood adversity and community trauma and posted information about a webinar from Showing Up for Racial Justice .  A moderator deleted it because it could be considered "inflammatory". She said: While we agree in that a horrific injustice and murder has taken place, we do not condone the violence of looting and destruction of private and public property, nor would we want to abolish police which it is calling for. I am quite torn as I did sign up for the call and so want something that me as a white person can do to get more involved and address the systemic racism but am not in support of the extreme actions they are calling for. This took me aback because I didn't see any...

To my white friends and colleagues: This is hard for me to write, and it may be hard for you receive. This moment is not about me or my suffering, which pales in comparison to what Black folks are experiencing. But I think it’s important for you to hear as you think about allyship. Please know that I have stayed silent for your comfort. I have held my tongue in response to your microaggressions and your ignorant statements, which I am not proud of. I’ve let things go because I don’t want to embarrass you or disrupt the peace. I didn’t want to shatter the illusion that race isn’t an issue between us, because most of the time it is not. I've been scared you'll see me differently, and not in a good way. But the truth is, I don't want to be your “safe” minority friend. I have lived my life subconsciously seeking the acceptance of white people. It is how I was raised, not so subconsciously. My parents knew the key to getting ahead in America was to do well in wh...

If you have followed my Facebook activities, you may have seen recently that I've been commenting EVERYWHERE about how we should stop celebrating Dr. Seuss. I've posted on every single idolizing event or post that has popped up in my feed in the past month, leading up to his birthday this past Saturday. I've emailed and private messaged local libraries, bookstores, our school district, and nonprofit organizations as well. In case you aren't caught up with why Dr. Seuss is so problematic, I'll share an example email I sent out, which summarizes my concern: Dear [school/library],  I am disappointed to see the upcoming event for families celebrating Dr. Seuss' birthday. While I know many generations have enjoyed his books, his explicit racism towards Asian Americans and use of offensive stereotypes of Black Americans immeasurably taint his legacy of humorous rhymes.  There has been a lot written on this subject and I hope that your staff will take the time to r...

Earlier this week I was being introduced to the director of a partner agency. My coworker said, "This is Mai..." and the other person jumped in loudly with, "My WHAT?! My WHAT?!", clearly cracking himself up. I'm fully aware Mai sounds like "my", a possessive pronoun in English. And that it rhymes with "hi". I'm aware it's a name people may not be familiar with. I've heard every joke and pun in the book from the time I was in daycare to this very f-ing day. Part of my experience of racism has been that it can be dormant for awhile, letting me forget that I'm still viewed differently by the world around me. (The fact that it's not incessant is a privilege I recognize.) I'll be moving along with my guard down, when something ugly pops up and reminds me, "not so fast... you are not one of us, you do not belong here". People feel so entitled to name me, instead of hearing me, that I have previously gone an e...

This past year has been such a strange one. While everyone was posting memes about how 2016 was the WORST, I actually felt like it was one of the best years ever for me. Holly came into our lives, we bought a house, and I found work I love. Things have fallen into place better than I could have imagined. I'm living the American dream, and it feels really good. But then I look outward and things seem to be crumbling. Like many, I read the news every day just shaking my head, wondering what has become of this country and how much more his supporters and political party will tolerate before they say unequivocally: THIS IS NOT US. He has shown himself to have no self-control, no governing experience, no regard for the rights of American people. Some days I want to throw my hands up and give up on understanding. Right now it's really hard to be proud to be an American.  My bad-ass STEM mom But I do love this country. I owe my whole existence to Americans who accepted re...

It's almost Thanksgiving, and I want to focus on giving thanks for my health and safety, my family, my friends, my opportunities, and all the positive change that is taking place in the world. In order to do that, I really need to get some things off my chest. Since last night I have had a hard time thinking about much else besides what is happening in Ferguson and all over the country. I don't know why I am stunned each time these decisions come down, but I am. It saddens me so much not only to see young black men being killed without consequence, but also the level of racism and ignorance that fill my news feed and the internet at large. It is hard to even say anything about this because I know I will probably be judged and criticized as well. But it's also getting hard NOT to say anything. This affects me. It affects all of us, and if you are not sure why, please take time to ask someone and reflect on the answer. Most of us have no idea what happened during the even...

I was on vacation when the shooting happened in Isla Vista and intentionally didn't read the news because I didn't want it to burst my happy bubble. Since my return I've been trying to catch up, and I have been both horrified and excited by the conversations that this event has triggered. Though it's disheartening to read account after account of sexism and misogyny, I'm happy and proud to see so many women speaking out about our collective truth, which is that we all feel the threat of gender-based violence. It's good to see both women and men standing up to say THIS IS NOT OKAY. A few months ago I was with my mentee (who I will remind you is fourteen) at a Starbucks by her house. We go there frequently to work on our scrapbook and talk. As we were cutting out pictures, a man, probably in his late twenties or thirties , came up to G and said something like, "Excuse me, uh, I was checking you out from outside and I think you were checking me out too ...