Wonderemployment

I haven't written in a few months, but not for lack of desire. There's been so much I've wanted to say about my experience in grad school so far, and there are even some pieces of writing I've done for class that I've considered sharing. But for the past 16 weeks, the stream of work has been unrelenting, and writing for pleasure and reflection has taken a back burner. Now that I can come up for air, I find myself struggling to string together thoughts. To start with the good, we did it!! We made it through the first semester of grad school. It's just one out of five, but I've been told it's the hardest since it has the biggest course load, and requires the biggest adjustment back into student life. But as of yesterday, here we are on the other side. I say "we" because this was truly a family affair. I am so proud of Curtis' hard work, and Holly's resilience. Some other time, I will write more about the logistics of how we've ma...

Last weekend I had to give a training in the city. I'm not sure that I've explicitly shared online that I am back at my former organization in Chinatown, leading a project to provide consultation and training to health and social service providers on culturally and linguistically appropriate services. Many times this consists of training staff on cultural competence/responsiveness/humility... whatever term you prefer. We call it "widening your personal lens". Over the years I have led some version of this training probably 50+ times. I've facilitated many other types of training too, with audiences of all sizes and types. I don't usually experience much anxiety anymore. I might feel a little nervous, or unsure how a new activity or piece of content will go, but that gut level of fear is gone.  But on my way to the training on Saturday, I was in knots. At one point on my drive there, I had to shove down the urge to cry. It genuinely surprised me, a...

It's been a busy summer around here to say the least. We finally moved into our house, I left my job and started a new one, and I also started grad school. We're navigating new schedules, new commutes, and new responsibilities. Through it all, our anniversary hasn't been anywhere near the forefront of our minds and currently we have nothing planned to celebrate it. This is pretty representative of where we are in our marriage. It's a well-oiled machine humming along in the background, not demanding much attention or thought. I appreciate this, because with so much in flux externally, it's nice to have refuge at home, or as much refuge as possible with a toddler in the mix. I try not to get complacent though, because things don't just "work" on their own and the last thing I want to do is ruin the best thing I have by assuming it will always stay that way. We have talked a lot this summer about how our roles and responsibilities will change with s...

I'm a free agent again, back on the job market. I'll keep the sad details brief. When I applied to and accepted my admission to grad school, I thought that I had the support of my organization and supervisor to adapt my work hours to accommodate my class schedule. However in the past couple weeks it's become clear that we will not be able to come to a mutually agreeable arrangement. So short of withdrawing from school, I don't have much of a choice but to leave. I love so many things about this job. My colleagues are people I genuinely enjoy working with; they are fun, supportive, and deeply committed to the work. My office focuses specifically on outreach, prevention, and stigma reduction related to mental health challenges, with particular attention to addressing cultural barriers and disparities. It is a perfect fit for my interests and a lot of my motivation to go back to school was to be able to advance HERE and be a leader in THIS area. So it hurts pretty d...

With G graduating high school last week I've been reflecting a lot on our journey together. I’m so proud of her, and I’m grateful to be able to experience this feeling. I’ve been proud of friends and loved ones before, but this experience is new to me because of how invested I have been in her well-being and how closely I’ve watched her grow. (I can only imagine how her father feels, or how I will feel when Holly reaches these kinds of milestones.) I enjoyed her graduation ceremony much more than my own. For many of us, graduating high school was a given. Getting into college was not something our parents hoped we would do; it was an expectation. I realize now that those of us who grew up this way were extremely privileged. No one in her family has ever been to college before. It wasn’t always clear that she would make it to this point. But she did it. Seeing her walk triumphantly across the stage was really special. Beyond being proud of her, I am proud of what we've built to...

Well big news... I applied to grad school! It was a pretty spontaneous decision within the last couple weeks, so if you're surprised, believe me, I am too. I've applied for the Master of Public Health program at SF State. I've always had it in my head that I would go back to school, but years went by and it never seemed like the right time. I continued to stumble upon good work opportunities, I was embracing a more relaxed pace of life, and of course most recently, I was focused on starting my new role as a mom. There were many times when I was close to applying. I took the GRE in 2011 while living in DC, and began to look into programs. I researched my options again in 2015, but once I found out I was pregnant I put those plans aside. GRE scores are only valid for five years, so I figured the window for grad school had closed for now, and that I'd revisit the prospect later down the road. I'm not sure why, but I was looking at the ETS website and clear ...

In my new role with San Mateo County, I just wrapped up teaching a five-part class called the Lived Experience Academy. The Academy is a course for people to learn how to tell their stories of lived experience for personal empowerment, community building, and local advocacy. For those unfamiliar with the term, “lived experience” refers to having first-hand experience with mental health challenges. We use the word “lived” to differentiate from mental health professionals or others who may have extensive experience of working with mental health conditions or systems of care, but have not lived through those challenges personally. This distinction is important because for most of history, and still today, people with lived experience have been stigmatized, disempowered, and told that others know what is best for them. Even after maintaining wellness and being in recovery, people with lived experience are often excluded from the workforce and discriminated against in other ways. One reason...

Today is my last day off. Ever.  That's not true of course, but it feels a bit that way because next week I'm back to work full time. I definitely feel ready, but it's bittersweet too. As a recap, I haven't worked full time since November 2015, when I was six months pregnant and got laid off. (That sounds bad, but the two events are unrelated.) I accepted a new job shortly after that, but called it quits by February to give my big aching body a rest, and to prepare for Holly's arrival. It was difficult to choose to have no job to return to, but it was undoubtedly the right decision for me. I am so fortunate that I had an open timeline after she was born to recover from birth, be completely focused on her, and figure out what to do next professionally. After seven months at home I unexpectedly found a job that excited me, and went back to work 24 hours per week. Now, at one year, I'm starting full time. Looking back, it was terrifying not knowing what 2016 wou...

Today, I did not enjoy being a mom. I did not enjoy waking up to a crying baby. I did not enjoy taking a sick day for my laryngitis, yet not being able to get any extra rest. I did not enjoy cutting up her breakfast into tiny squares. I did not enjoy hearing her whine while I made that breakfast. I did not enjoy pulling peanut butter out of her hair. I did not enjoy her "vocal exercises" of screeching and screaming. I did not enjoy hearing her wake up from her morning nap too early. I did not enjoy the THREE catastrophic diapers she prepared for me today. I did not enjoy her piercing cries at having her diaper and clothes changed. I did not enjoy having no voice to comfort her complaining. I did not enjoy crying while she cried; it really hurt my throat! I did not enjoy the eyedrops I needed to use for the pinkeye she gave me. I did not enjoy taking things away from her that shouldn't be used as toys. I did not enjoy picking soggy Cheerios off her shirt at snack time, ...

Hanging out with a baby can be loud, but it can also be very quiet at times. During this past year, my most constant companion has been my podcasts. Prior to my pregnancy, I only listened to one podcast, just enough to fill the time on my commute on BART. But once I started staying home all day with Holly, podcasts helped me not just fill time, but keep me connected to the bigger world. It was like having great conversations without having to do any of the work. They have become such a soundtrack to my home life, I wanted to capture them here as sort of an audio time capsule for this period of my life. Here are my top five podcasts (not in any order), along with some favorite episodes: Stuff Mom Never Told You : I feel like I tell everyone about this podcast because so many conversations remind me of things I've learned from this show. Cristen and Caroline look at tons of topics from a feminist, fact-based lens, with a good dose of humor. I am so bummed they won't be record...

One of my biggest roles as a board member at the Peninsula Family Y is advocating and fundraising for the Y's amazing programs. This year I have the honor of being the Community Campaign Chairwoman. I spoke at the Campaign Kick-Off event this week, to share my own Y story and encourage others to share theirs. Gabbie and her father came to cheer me on and celebrate their place at the Y too.  To kick off my own personal fundraising, I want to share my remarks from the event.  --- My name is Mai and I’m so excited to be the Campaign Chairwoman this year. Thank you all so much for taking time to be here, and more importantly, for supporting the Peninsula Family YMCA. We’re going to hear some incredible stories from people within our Y community today. Before we do that I want to tell you a little more about myself and my Y story. I’m currently on the board of managers, but I actually started volunteering with the Y as a Reach and Rise mentor. Reach and Rise is a therapeutic...

This past year has been such a strange one. While everyone was posting memes about how 2016 was the WORST, I actually felt like it was one of the best years ever for me. Holly came into our lives, we bought a house, and I found work I love. Things have fallen into place better than I could have imagined. I'm living the American dream, and it feels really good. But then I look outward and things seem to be crumbling. Like many, I read the news every day just shaking my head, wondering what has become of this country and how much more his supporters and political party will tolerate before they say unequivocally: THIS IS NOT US. He has shown himself to have no self-control, no governing experience, no regard for the rights of American people. Some days I want to throw my hands up and give up on understanding. Right now it's really hard to be proud to be an American.  My bad-ass STEM mom But I do love this country. I owe my whole existence to Americans who accepted re...