Last week I shared the first part of a list I made when I was 14, with all the things I wanted to do in my lifetime. Here is the second part, with one more coming soon. For a little context of who I was when I wrote this list, here is a picture of me from that time (Y2K!).
In the words of today's teenagers, #awkward. At least my sister loved me. Now without further ado...
Things I would like to do in my lifetime (not in any order): Part 2
8. Get a degree in college
13. Kiss someone I love (and vice versa) in the pouring rain
This is the only thing on the list I find downright embarrassing, but it is what it is. I am pretty certain I have done this, but honestly, honestly, cannot remember with whom I did it. Maybe multiple people? Haha. The reason I am sure I've done this is because it does not sound romantic to me at all anymore. All I can think about is rain getting into your mouths, resulting is very wet, slippery kisses. Ick. No thank you. But I do like how I had the smarts to include "(and vice versa)", since kissing someone who doesn't love you back is really, truly no fun.
14. Learn to dance, and do it comfortably
In the words of today's teenagers, #awkward. At least my sister loved me. Now without further ado...
Things I would like to do in my lifetime (not in any order): Part 2
B.S. in Planning, Public Policy, and
Management. Check!
9. Have a reunion with all the cousins
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| Me, with the PPPM department internship coordinator, and my mentor. |
9. Have a reunion with all the cousins
Hmm, I have a LOT of cousins. My mom has nine older siblings (though one died as a child). Each of my living aunts and uncles had at least two children. Most of my cousins are older than me, and many of them have their own children. They are spread across three continents, at least five counties, and some still in Vietnam, with less freedom to travel internationally. This is all to say that I am not sure if it would ever be possible to have a reunion with every cousin in attendance. But whenever a big group of us can get together, it is really special so I hope someday we can organize a great big reunion to top all reunions.
10. Find a religion I feel suits my beliefs
I am not sure whether to cross this off or not, but I think I will. I do not practice any religion, which I think indeed does suit my beliefs just fine. I put this item on the list because a close friend of mine at the time felt very strongly that she needed to examine different religions and choose one. It seemed like a very rational, adult thing to do, so I felt that I should do it too. But the truth is, I have never felt compelled to this exploration. I am completely at peace with that. I believe people can be happy, intelligent, and of strong moral character with or without religious faith. I hear a lot of bitter righteousness on both sides, and it makes me sad. We are all called to different answers to the mystery of life, and that's okay.
11. Find a job I truly enjoy and keep it
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| A small segment of my family. Photo by Vivian Chen. |
I am not sure whether to cross this off or not, but I think I will. I do not practice any religion, which I think indeed does suit my beliefs just fine. I put this item on the list because a close friend of mine at the time felt very strongly that she needed to examine different religions and choose one. It seemed like a very rational, adult thing to do, so I felt that I should do it too. But the truth is, I have never felt compelled to this exploration. I am completely at peace with that. I believe people can be happy, intelligent, and of strong moral character with or without religious faith. I hear a lot of bitter righteousness on both sides, and it makes me sad. We are all called to different answers to the mystery of life, and that's okay.
11. Find a job I truly enjoy and keep it
Ha. Easier said than done, hence this blog. I think the older I get the more I realize how hard it is to merge what you truly enjoy with something that is a viable career. I am envious of those who have an easy time doing that, but I know for many people, it's just not realistic. It's not to say I've given up on the dream, but rather that I am coming to terms with the idea that there may not be a "true calling" out there for me as far as careers go. Instead, there are probably a great number of things I could do that I might find enjoyable, meaningful, and frankly, good enough.
12. Keep in touch with my best friends
Maybe I didn't realize this at 14, but keeping in touch with friends is a lifelong process, not a discrete event you can cross off a list. It's something I have thought about a lot, having made several moves. A big part of moving is having to make new friends, as well as having to work harder to keep up with the friends you left behind. I am, of course, not the only one making transitions. In your twenties especially I think, friends come and go at rapid pace, as they start grad school, new careers, and families. All the changes of this phase of life can make it difficult to tell who is really meant to be a "best friend", when it takes so much more to stay relevant in each others lives. I've come to learn that it's natural and okay for some friendships to fade away for no real reason. If you're lucky, a few will stick. It's not all about luck, though. It takes effort to maintain those connections. Since I never really know who the "stickers" will be, my philosophy is that it's worth putting in a little extra effort with all my friends until that effort doesn't feel good anymore. It's a vague standard, but I think we all know what it's like when that effort starts to feel like work. That means it's a healthy time to end it or pause. But the best of friends will freely give back what you gave, and then some. Long story short, I hope to keep at this item for the rest of my life.
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| Doing a youth training through my current job, which I do love, but cannot keep. |
12. Keep in touch with my best friends
Maybe I didn't realize this at 14, but keeping in touch with friends is a lifelong process, not a discrete event you can cross off a list. It's something I have thought about a lot, having made several moves. A big part of moving is having to make new friends, as well as having to work harder to keep up with the friends you left behind. I am, of course, not the only one making transitions. In your twenties especially I think, friends come and go at rapid pace, as they start grad school, new careers, and families. All the changes of this phase of life can make it difficult to tell who is really meant to be a "best friend", when it takes so much more to stay relevant in each others lives. I've come to learn that it's natural and okay for some friendships to fade away for no real reason. If you're lucky, a few will stick. It's not all about luck, though. It takes effort to maintain those connections. Since I never really know who the "stickers" will be, my philosophy is that it's worth putting in a little extra effort with all my friends until that effort doesn't feel good anymore. It's a vague standard, but I think we all know what it's like when that effort starts to feel like work. That means it's a healthy time to end it or pause. But the best of friends will freely give back what you gave, and then some. Long story short, I hope to keep at this item for the rest of my life.
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| My 11th or 12th birthday party, with friends who are no longer a big part of my life, but whom I can still remember vividly, with fondness. |
This is the only thing on the list I find downright embarrassing, but it is what it is. I am pretty certain I have done this, but honestly, honestly, cannot remember with whom I did it. Maybe multiple people? Haha. The reason I am sure I've done this is because it does not sound romantic to me at all anymore. All I can think about is rain getting into your mouths, resulting is very wet, slippery kisses. Ick. No thank you. But I do like how I had the smarts to include "(and vice versa)", since kissing someone who doesn't love you back is really, truly no fun.
14. Learn to dance, and do it comfortably
I spent half an hour playing Just Dance this morning; does that count? Probably not, since I was doing it alone. I really enjoy dancing, but am still not comfortable dancing in front of others, unless you count the other people at the gym, where I've taken hip-hop and Zumba classes. I mean, it's no accident that we didn't have dancing at our wedding. I know with certainty that this is a learned fear. My entire life, and I mean to this very day, if I mention to my mom that I am going to an event with dancing, she will ask me, "do you even know how to dance??" And of course, my answer is "umm, no, but...", and then I rethink the whole thing and sink into a puddle of self-doubt. What I know rationally though is that you don't really need to know how to dance. Short of going to a ballroom dance club, dancing these days just means being able to move your body around with confidence while music is playing. When I have kids I'll have to remember to tell them to just go make fools out of themselves on the dance floor. Life is much more fun that way.
Stay tuned for the last installment, coming soon!
See Part 1, and Part 3.
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| Bliss Dance, on Treasure Island |
Stay tuned for the last installment, coming soon!
See Part 1, and Part 3.
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