Skip to main content

My Beauty Today

I got to attend a fun conference in Berkeley today, called Teens Tackle Tobacco. It brings together high school students interested in being leaders and health educators and gives them resources about tobacco, drugs, alcohol, and other health issues. This is not like a DARE program. It offers facts, not fear-based messages, and doesn't present the issues as black and white. The adults there treat the teens like rational human beings capable of making reasoned decisions. And in turn, the teens show so much maturity and dedication to learning. It's a beautiful sight to see!

I attended this event as a co-presenter on youth gambling. It's always fun to work with teens, but my favorite part was attending the other workshops. The first session I went to was from the folks at Niroga Institute. They bring mindfulness, breathing techniques, and yoga (collectively referred to as Transformative Life Skills) to schools and help students become peer leaders. They talked a lot about how stress can impact our ability to control our emotions and actions, and can diminish our ability to empathize with others. Learning to be aware of our body and regulate stress can therefore have a huge impact on how we lead, and what we contribute to our community. These concepts are fairly intuitive, but today I was so moved by hearing firsthand the impact that these skills can have in the lives of young people who have experienced trauma and violence, and who are also navigating the turbulent process of growing up. What would the world be like if we could all be more aware of ourselves, manage our responses to stress, and express ourselves peacefully? Don't all kids need and deserve to be taught these skills?

With all this floating in my mind, I went to another workshop that built on this idea of having a good relationship with our own bodies. This session was from The Body Positive, and they talked about transforming beliefs about beauty, health, and identity, and teaching youth how to love and care for themselves. I was one of the "older women" at this workshop, and it was so heartbreaking to hear the messages that girls felt they were getting from the media, their families, and their friends. You can never be too thin. Make-up is essential. Clothes make a woman. Perfect hair and skin means straight hair and clear, tan skin (but NOT dark skin). None of this is new to me, but seeing the vulnerability and the innocence in these girls made me want to hug them all and say, "you have no idea how beautiful you are!" But this work starts from within. On good days, I look at myself and think, "not bad", but most days, I zero in on the flaws or avoid looking too closely. Is that the example I want to set for other girls and women? Absolutely not. I am owning my beauty today. This what I look like (after 20 tries at a decent bathroom selfie), and this is beautiful:


At the end of the day we had to go around the room and share what our beauty is today, recognizing that it changes all the time, as we grow and understand ourselves differently. So now I will share with you, in hopes that you will share back or at least make a conscious note to yourself. Today my beauty is the way I love learning new things and allow myself to feel inspired. My beauty is my smile that helps other people feel at ease. My beauty is my eyes that see so much goodness and potential in young people.

What's your beauty today?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Creating a Silver Lining

I got word recently that my job was going to be cut. It was sudden, unexpected, and sad. Thankfully I was offered another temporary, part time position to tide me over. There are a lot of things to be thankful for... my health, my education, my husband, the experience I've had there. But it still hurts. I was (mostly) a straight-A student in high school and college. Doing well in school was part of how I defined myself. I always imagined I would find an awesome job, be really successful, climb the ladder, and be a leader. After I graduated, I did go on to find some great opportunities, but I'm nowhere near as successful as I thought I would be by this time in my life. Disappointing your past self is painful. Losing my job suddenly really drove that emotion home. I've had a few weeks to process this and wallow in my self pity. But then one day on BART, reading O Magazine , I had an epiphany. I need to make something of this underemployment period. If I can look back...

Goodbye to Wonderemployment

I started this blog in January 2014 when one of my grants ended and my organization moved me to another project on a much more limited basis. I felt so unmoored by the shift, wondering who I was if not a good, productive, upwardly mobile professional. (Just to be clear, I no longer believe you have to work full time to be productive, and definitely don't believe anyone's worth is tied to their employment!) A lot has changed since then. I've had five job changes, earned my MPH, had two kids, started a Buy Nothing group (practically a part time job), and navigated a pandemic. I'm also no longer underemployed! Last month I started a new job with my local public health department. It's meaningful work that is challenging, well-compensated (by my standards), in line with my experience and education, and has potential for growth and advancement-- all the things I've wanted in a job since I started this blog. I've been around enough to know that not everything wor...

30 for 30!

I am fast approaching my 30th birthday in September. For most of my life, I've felt like my birthday has been a bust. For one thing, it often fell on or near the first day of school, which was when friendships were most in flux. I also didn't feel very confident about myself, so thinking of who to invite and what the group dynamic would be like filled me with anxiety. (It kind of still does.) As time went on I just pretended not to care, wouldn't plan anything, then felt vaguely depressed when the day rolled around without fanfare. This year, I want to do something different. I want to do something BIG. After this past year, of having a painful pregnancy, getting laid off, making some big life decisions, and caring for a new baby, I am unashamed to say I deserve some celebration ! Doing something "big" is a bit challenging with a little one, and without the extra income. I've spent the last month racking my brain for what I could do, but nothing seemed like ...